Ten Hurricaines- A Poem for Spoken Word

TW: Psychiatric Medication

I wrote this rough draft of a poem a few years ago for spoken word and never came back to edit it, but I really like it. To me, it represents finding the balance in my psychiatric medication and sort of losing myself by being over-medicated but losing my ability to maintain my relationships with people who matter to me by being under-medicated.

This is the time of day

When the oceans roar

The messy crash of salty waves is pain

But the tearful surge is the herald of my reward

They're coming back

My thoughts are riding on the clouds

Where I used to live

My wonderings crashing in the pattern of my name

Here comes the Storm

Boatless, I'm dead man's floating out to sea

Will I go into that hurricane?

Will I float until the waves lift me to the clouds,

Not into the eye of the storm, but in the swirling winds?

The swirling of that storm is where I once discovered lightning

The fury of those winds is what dropped the apple on my head

The center of that storm is a wormhole to another dimension

I'm not lost, but there I'd find myself again

I jerk around, the shore still is in sight

The world of land is already foreign and frightening

The world of clouds richer and more complete

I could float away, but for the figures standing on the shore

I miss my world, but I'd miss my humans more.

- Ten Hurricanes, rough draft, by Zeke Goff

Comments

Dear Unnamed Friend

Dear unnamed friend, I carefully hoarded enough spoons to do the activity you suggested at the time you suggested. I went to bed super early and planned NOTHING for tomorrow to be able to do it. I just got discharged from psych this week, and the meds still aren’t all the way in my system, so I’m foggy-minded and emotional. I also woke up every 90 minutes last night for 30-45 minutes due to nightmares about the hospital that joined my normal nightmares. I told you I’d let you know around 9am today, when my alarm was set to sound, whether I could come to the 1pm event today, and I texted you that yes, I could come, but I needed to sleep until 10 to regain spoons. You texted me 4-5 times between 9:15 and 10, effectively cancelling any change I had to sleep, since it takes me at least 2 hours to wake all the way up. You tried to change the plans to pick me up around 10:15am, and I understand why. You were already in the area for something and didn’t want to drive all the w...

Distress Tolerance Skills Part 1: Crisis Survival Skills

All posts in this series reference working through DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition , and all quotes come from that book unless otherwise specified. Goals of Distress Tolerance: Distress tolerance skills are important because distress is always going to be a part of life, and fighting against that fact causes more suffering. Distress is also part of making any change in ourselves, and if we shy away from that pain, we will be unable to progress. The Distress Tolerance Skills section of the book will be divided into two main types of handouts: Crisis Survival and Reality Acceptance. There will also be some material for "When the Crisis is Addiction". This blog will cover crisis survival skills. The distress tolerance section has 3 main goals: "Survive crisis situations without making them worse Accept reality Replace suffering and being "stuck" with ordinary pain and the possibility of moving forward Become free of having t...

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Part 1

All posts in this series reflect working through DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition . All quotes come from this book unless otherwise noted. Deciding to Study Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills: According to the book, the reason for practicing interpersonal effectiveness skills is to "be skillful in getting what you want and need from others", "build relationships and end destructive ones", and "walk the middle path". There are some factors that can get in the way of interpersonal effectiveness: lacking the skills you need, not knowing what you want, being too emotional to be skillful, forgetting long-term goals because of what you want right now, "other people... getting in the way", and having thoughts and beliefs that get in the way. The thoughts and beliefs that were getting in the way of me practicing interpersonal effectiveness skills were: "If I ask for something or say no, I can't stand if so...

.Being.Us

Search This Blog