.Being.Us

TW: Psychiatric Medication I wrote this rough draft of a poem a few years ago for spoken word and never came back to edit it, but I really like it. To me, it represents finding the balance in my psychiatric medication and sort of losing myself by being over-medicated but losing my ability to maintain my relationships with people who matter to me by being under-medicated.     This is the time of day When the oceans roar The messy crash of salty waves is pain But the tearful surge is the herald of my reward   They're coming back My thoughts are riding on the clouds Where I used to live My wonderings crashing in the pattern of my name   Here comes the Storm   Boatless, I'm dead man's floating out to sea Will I go into that hurricane? Will I float until the waves lift me to the clouds, Not into the eye of the storm, but in the swirling winds?   The swirling of that storm is where I once discovered lightn...

Earlier this week, I started on the medication  Seroquel . I'm on 100 (milligrams, I think) and will gradually increase to the therapeutic dose of 250, if all goes as planned. I just wanted to give a quick update on my experience so far. Issues It is Intended to Treat Insomnia Paranoia Delusions Benefits so Far Mood stabilization - My mood fluctuates a lot less throughout the day. I did not realize that the amount that my mood changed independent of external circumstances was unusual, but it stays steady more now.  Insomnia Drastically Reduced - I fall asleep without trouble and only wake up 1-2 times per night. I have NEVER experienced that before. At first, it made me sleepy during the day, too, but melatonin and a little caffeine sorted out my sleep schedule well. Increased Focus Side Effects so Far Drowsiness - It puts me to sleep about 1-2 hours after I take it, and it's hard to wake up in the morning without caffeine. Nausea - I experience nausea ...