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I Ordered a Walker

This is the model.

I really have mixed feelings about this decision. I'm choosing to get the walker due to intense pain that's been worsening for about the last year. The cause turns out to be EDS, or at least that's what the doctors are saying.
EDS is a connective tissue disorder that I don't yet fully understand, but it was explained to my that my connective tissue at my joints is too stretchy, and it's leading to my pain, fatigue, and susceptibility to joint injury.
I was also provisionally diagnosed with POTS, in which blood pools in some areas while I'm seated or laying down, and my heart rate goes up too much trying to get the blood back to my heart and brain when I stand. If this process is inefficient enough, I can faint. Apparently, the doctor didn't do the proper testing for this, so I'm going to take this diagnosis with a grain of salt and just call it unexplained near-fainting episodes for now. Regardless of what causes them, they happen, and I have to live with them for now.
Back to the walker. I really have felt this last year like my mobility was being taken from me. As I should have been recovering from surgery, I was plagued by flares of intense joint pain and fatigue. I'd complained of flares of these symptoms for about 4 years, but they'd gotten even worse during the last year. I also was dealing with dizzy spells and feeling like I would pass out.
I've used a wheelchair a lot of the time, and I've felt like it was a personal failure. It felt like overkill, and I didn't know where my pain was coming from. When I went out on foot, I would often have to sit on the ground in public because of my pain level and not because of being out of shape. However, these issues caused me to become more and more out of shape as exercise and daily activities got harder and harder.
A walker seems like it will provide the right level of support for me. I can use it for support and sit when needed, but it's not the wheelchair, and I'm up on my feet. There's nothing wrong with using a wheelchair when you need one, but I want to preserve as much of my mobility as I can.
However, the walker almost feels like more overkill than the wheelchair, like admitting I need a high level of help and support. I fear that friends and family will think I'm using it just for attention, rather than that I'm in a lot of pain. I'm working through a lot of internalized ableism towards this tool that I think will help me a lot and give me some of my mobility back.

Note: I'm an Amazon associate. I get rewarded if you click on the ad or buy the product advertised, but it's really the model I got.

Comments

  1. ZekeNovember 10, 2017 at 5:36 PM

    It's come to my attention that my doctor did not perform the proper diagnostics to diagnose POTS, so we'll just say "unexplained fainting spells" until I can talk to him and clarify what he said and did.

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  2. ZekeNovember 18, 2017 at 8:01 AM

    Well, the walker is here, and it helps a ton. My arms aren't used to using the muscles it requires yet, and they hurt, but when I use for support and sit down as needed, my pain level is greatly reduced. I was in extreme pain in my knees and ankles before.
    I've gone out to do things on foot a lot more with it, knowing I won't have to sit down in the middle of the street if I can't go any further. It's particularly hard to use walking my dog, though, and I tend to still do that without it and just sit on the ground around the complex.

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