Is It Safe to be Seen?: A poem

A poem about gender identity.

TW: Nudity, body parts, hints at violence against trans people

Is It Safe to Be Seen?

I dreamed last night that I was naked -Well nearly naked

Wearing nothing on top

And nothing but underwear- or maybe even a pull-up

On bottom,

Surrounded by cis men and women

In a steam room or sauna that was also a living room

Where conversation was happening,

And my body was markedly different from theirs.

There were other fat people there,

And other hairy people,

And other people with breasts,

But none that ticked all 3 categories.

None that were such an amalgamation of genders.

The things that give me gender euphoria in private

Made me feel--- slightly uncomfortable.

Just a little put on display.

And people looked.

People noticed the differences.

But then, I noticed their bodies, too

So this wasn’t entirely unusual,

And it stopped at noticing.

If it doesn’t progress to celebrating a hard-won battle,

Then may it always stop at noticing,

Because things could have gotten much worse.

Comments

Dear Unnamed Friend

Dear unnamed friend, I carefully hoarded enough spoons to do the activity you suggested at the time you suggested. I went to bed super early and planned NOTHING for tomorrow to be able to do it. I just got discharged from psych this week, and the meds still aren’t all the way in my system, so I’m foggy-minded and emotional. I also woke up every 90 minutes last night for 30-45 minutes due to nightmares about the hospital that joined my normal nightmares. I told you I’d let you know around 9am today, when my alarm was set to sound, whether I could come to the 1pm event today, and I texted you that yes, I could come, but I needed to sleep until 10 to regain spoons. You texted me 4-5 times between 9:15 and 10, effectively cancelling any change I had to sleep, since it takes me at least 2 hours to wake all the way up. You tried to change the plans to pick me up around 10:15am, and I understand why. You were already in the area for something and didn’t want to drive all the w...

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