Skip to main content

Is It Safe to be Seen?: A poem

 A poem about gender identity.

TW: Nudity, body parts, hints at violence against trans people

Is It Safe to Be Seen?

I dreamed last night that I was naked -Well nearly naked

Wearing nothing on top

And nothing but underwear- or maybe even a pull-up

On bottom,

Surrounded by cis men and women

In a steam room or sauna that was also a living room

Where conversation was happening,

And my body was markedly different from theirs.

There were other fat people there,

And other hairy people,

And other people with breasts,

But none that ticked all 3 categories.

None that were such an amalgamation of genders.

The things that give me gender euphoria in private

Made me feel--- slightly uncomfortable.

Just a little put on display.

And people looked.

People noticed the differences.

But then, I noticed their bodies, too

So this wasn’t entirely unusual,

And it stopped at noticing.

If it doesn’t progress to celebrating a hard-won battle,

Then may it always stop at noticing,

Because things could have gotten much worse.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Ordered a Walker

lly have mixe    This is the model. I really have mixed feelings about this decision. I'm choosing to get the walker due to intense pain that's been worsening for about the last year. The cause turns out to be EDS , or at least that's what the doctors are saying. EDS is a connective tissue disorder that I don't yet fully understand, but it was explained to my that my connective tissue at my joints is too stretchy, and it's leading to my pain, fatigue, and susceptibility to joint injury. I was also provisionally diagnosed with POTS , in which blood pools in some areas while I'm seated or laying down, and my heart rate goes up too much trying to get the blood back to my heart and brain when I stand. If this process is inefficient enough, I can faint. Apparently, the doctor didn't do the proper testing for this, so I'm going to take this diagnosis with a grain of salt and just call it unexplained near-fainting episodes for now. Regardless of what causes...
2 comments
Read more

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Part 4

All posts in this series reference working through DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition , and all quotes come from that book unless otherwise specified. This blog post continues to chronicle my takeaways from the Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills section of my DBT workbook. Parts of this section either did not work for my autism or my agnosticism, but on the whole, I found it helpful. Dialectics The next section of interpersonal effectiveness skills is dialectics. Dialectics are all about balancing opposites. This has spiritual applications noted in the book (talk of the universe, etc.), but that doesn't work very well for me with trauma and psychosis surrounding spiritual things. However, dialectics can also help us see both sides of a situation, embrace change in our lives, be aware of our connection to others, and see that we are both impacted by and impacters on our environments. The book then lists some beliefs that are dialectics, and a few w...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dear Unnamed Friend

Dear unnamed friend, I carefully hoarded enough spoons to do the activity you suggested at the time you suggested. I went to bed super early and planned NOTHING for tomorrow to be able to do it. I just got discharged from psych this week, and the meds still aren’t all the way in my system, so I’m foggy-minded and emotional. I also woke up every 90 minutes last night for 30-45 minutes due to nightmares about the hospital that joined my normal nightmares. I told you I’d let you know around 9am today, when my alarm was set to sound, whether I could come to the 1pm event today, and I texted you that yes, I could come, but I needed to sleep until 10 to regain spoons. You texted me 4-5 times between 9:15 and 10, effectively cancelling any change I had to sleep, since it takes me at least 2 hours to wake all the way up. You tried to change the plans to pick me up around 10:15am, and I understand why. You were already in the area for something and didn’t want to drive all the w...
1 comment
Read more