Skip to main content

Emotional Regulation Part 3


All posts in this series reference working through DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition, and all quotes come from that book unless otherwise specified.

Managing Really Difficult Emotions

The next subsection of the emotional regulation section of the workbook is about managing really difficult emotions. This is broken down into three parts: mindfulness of current emotions, managing extreme emotions, and troubleshooting and review.

Mindfulness of Current Emotions:

The book recommends thinking of your emotion as a wave that ebbs and flows and imagining surfing the wave of your emotions. I have aphantasia and autism, and imagery and metaphor don't really work for me. However, the book also says you should practice mindfulness of your current emotion, noticing it without trying to increase it or decrease it, get rid of it or hold onto it.

You should also pay attention to sensations in your body related to the emotion: where they're located and how long it takes the emotion to fade.

You should keep in mind that your emotion does not define you, and you do not have to act on it. "Remember times when you have felt different."

"Practice loving your emotion. Respect your emotion. Do not judge your emotion. Practice willingness. Radically accept your emotion."

Managing Extreme Emotions:

The first thing you should do when your emotions are extreme is identify whether you are at your skills breakdown point- that is whether your emotions are too high to use your skills. Check the facts.  If you are not at this point yet, you should try to use your skills. If you are at this point, you should you the observe and describe skills to state that you are at your skills breakdown point. You might note things like:
  • "Your distress is extreme.
  • You are overwhelmed.
  • You cannot focus your mind on anything but the emotion itself.
  • Your mind shuts down; your brain stops processing emotion.
  • You cannot solve problems or use complicated skills."
If you are at your skills breakdown point, and you have observed and described that you are at that point, the book recommends following these steps:
  1. Use crisis survival skills, which will not be taught until the section on distress tolerance, which I have not yet reached. However, these skills include "TIP your body chemistry", "DISTRACT yourself from emotional events", "SELF-SOOTHE through the five senses", and "IMPROVE the moment you are in."  
  2. "Return to mindfulness of current emotions"
  3. If needed, try other emotion regulation skills.

 Troubleshooting Emotion Regulation Skills:

  1. Check your biological vulnerabilities (PLEASE acronym). Are you ill? Have you eaten the right amount of healthy foods? Have you gotten a balanced amount of sleep? Have you taken your medications as prescribed? Have I used illicit drugs? Take care of these needs and then try emotion regulation again.
  2. Check your skills. Is the skill you used appropriate to the situation? Did you follow the skill instructions exactly? Do you need to review and try other skills or the same skill followed more closely? Do you need coaching? Check these things and try emotion regulation again.
  3. Check for things that are reinforcing your emotions. Do they communicate something to others or influence others to do things? Do they motivate you to do things you think are important? Do they validate your beliefs or identity? Do they feel good? These things are called reinforcers. If you find that there are reinforcers for your ineffective, very strong emotions, find alternatives for each reinforcer. If it communicates to or influences others, practice interpersonal communication skills. If it motivates you to do important things, look for different reinforcers to motivate you. If it validates your beliefs or identity, self-validate. If it feels good, do pros and cons for changing emotions. 
  4. Check your mood. Are you putting in the time and effort needed to change your emotions? "Do pros and cons for working hard on skills. Practice radical acceptance and willingness skills. Practice the mindfulness skills of participating and effectiveness."
  5. Check for emotional overload. Have you reached your skills breakdown point? If not, problem solve. If so, use the steps above in this blog. 
  6. Check for myths. Check the facts. Challenge any myths that are getting in the way.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Ordered a Walker

lly have mixe    This is the model. I really have mixed feelings about this decision. I'm choosing to get the walker due to intense pain that's been worsening for about the last year. The cause turns out to be EDS , or at least that's what the doctors are saying. EDS is a connective tissue disorder that I don't yet fully understand, but it was explained to my that my connective tissue at my joints is too stretchy, and it's leading to my pain, fatigue, and susceptibility to joint injury. I was also provisionally diagnosed with POTS , in which blood pools in some areas while I'm seated or laying down, and my heart rate goes up too much trying to get the blood back to my heart and brain when I stand. If this process is inefficient enough, I can faint. Apparently, the doctor didn't do the proper testing for this, so I'm going to take this diagnosis with a grain of salt and just call it unexplained near-fainting episodes for now. Regardless of what causes...
2 comments
Read more

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Part 4

All posts in this series reference working through DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition , and all quotes come from that book unless otherwise specified. This blog post continues to chronicle my takeaways from the Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills section of my DBT workbook. Parts of this section either did not work for my autism or my agnosticism, but on the whole, I found it helpful. Dialectics The next section of interpersonal effectiveness skills is dialectics. Dialectics are all about balancing opposites. This has spiritual applications noted in the book (talk of the universe, etc.), but that doesn't work very well for me with trauma and psychosis surrounding spiritual things. However, dialectics can also help us see both sides of a situation, embrace change in our lives, be aware of our connection to others, and see that we are both impacted by and impacters on our environments. The book then lists some beliefs that are dialectics, and a few w...
Post a Comment
Read more

Dear Unnamed Friend

Dear unnamed friend, I carefully hoarded enough spoons to do the activity you suggested at the time you suggested. I went to bed super early and planned NOTHING for tomorrow to be able to do it. I just got discharged from psych this week, and the meds still aren’t all the way in my system, so I’m foggy-minded and emotional. I also woke up every 90 minutes last night for 30-45 minutes due to nightmares about the hospital that joined my normal nightmares. I told you I’d let you know around 9am today, when my alarm was set to sound, whether I could come to the 1pm event today, and I texted you that yes, I could come, but I needed to sleep until 10 to regain spoons. You texted me 4-5 times between 9:15 and 10, effectively cancelling any change I had to sleep, since it takes me at least 2 hours to wake all the way up. You tried to change the plans to pick me up around 10:15am, and I understand why. You were already in the area for something and didn’t want to drive all the w...
1 comment
Read more