Skip to main content

Make Holiday Gatherings Easier

Many holidays are coming up, and that means holiday gatherings. Holiday gatherings can be nice in that they allow us to see the people we love, but they can also bring crowds, unwanted physical contact, sensory overload, changes in routine, unscripted conversation, and other challenges that are especially irksome for autistic and mentally ill people (like me). This blog will cover some ways to address these issues and lessen their impact.

Note: The dyslexic font add-ons aren't working right now, so this new font is accessible to me. 

  1. Don't pack in too many gatherings: Trying to do too much is a good way to get overwhelmed. Allow down-time to recharge between gatherings. 
  2. Know what to expect: Knowing what will happen and when can help reduce anxiety. It can help to know the schedule, familiarize yourself with the places you'll be going (drive-bys or photos help me), and know who you'll be seeing at the events. 
  3. Prepare scripts: Whether you'll be going for a meal, a gift exchange, or something else, preparing scripts for the expected situation can help make communication easier. If you don't like to be touched, a script about how it's great to see someone, but you don't like physical touch could also be helpful. 
  4. Identify a place to escape: Identify a place to step away as soon as you get to the gathering place, so you can retreat and gather yourself if everything becomes too much. 
  5. Stim- Stim toys can be an unobtrusive way to stim. I'll post links to some of my favorites below. I'm an Amazon affiliate, so I do get rewarded if you click the links. I also choose less obtrusive stimming movements at family gatherings, like conducting, instead of flapping my arms. This all depends on how your family feels about stimming, and how much you care about their thoughts on it. 
  6. Bring something to do: Again, this may depend on your family etiquette, but bringing a book, some toys, a camera, or another way to be distracted from the stimulation can be helpful.
I hope you all have a happy winter, and that these tips help any gatherings you attend be more enjoyable. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dear Unnamed Friend

Dear unnamed friend, I carefully hoarded enough spoons to do the activity you suggested at the time you suggested. I went to bed super early and planned NOTHING for tomorrow to be able to do it. I just got discharged from psych this week, and the meds still aren’t all the way in my system, so I’m foggy-minded and emotional. I also woke up every 90 minutes last night for 30-45 minutes due to nightmares about the hospital that joined my normal nightmares. I told you I’d let you know around 9am today, when my alarm was set to sound, whether I could come to the 1pm event today, and I texted you that yes, I could come, but I needed to sleep until 10 to regain spoons. You texted me 4-5 times between 9:15 and 10, effectively cancelling any change I had to sleep, since it takes me at least 2 hours to wake all the way up. You tried to change the plans to pick me up around 10:15am, and I understand why. You were already in the area for something and didn’t want to drive all the w...

Distress Tolerance Skills Part 1: Crisis Survival Skills

All posts in this series reference working through DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition , and all quotes come from that book unless otherwise specified. Goals of Distress Tolerance: Distress tolerance skills are important because distress is always going to be a part of life, and fighting against that fact causes more suffering. Distress is also part of making any change in ourselves, and if we shy away from that pain, we will be unable to progress. The Distress Tolerance Skills section of the book will be divided into two main types of handouts: Crisis Survival and Reality Acceptance. There will also be some material for "When the Crisis is Addiction". This blog will cover crisis survival skills. The distress tolerance section has 3 main goals: "Survive crisis situations without making them worse Accept reality Replace suffering and being "stuck" with ordinary pain and the possibility of moving forward Become free of having t...

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Part 1

All posts in this series reflect working through  DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition . All quotes come from this book unless otherwise noted.  Deciding to Study Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills: According to the book, the reason for practicing interpersonal effectiveness skills is to "be skillful in getting what you want and need from others", "build relationships and end destructive ones", and "walk the middle path". There are some factors that can get in the way of interpersonal effectiveness: lacking the skills you need, not knowing what you want, being too emotional to be skillful, forgetting long-term goals because of what you want right now, "other people... getting in the way", and having thoughts and beliefs that get in the way. The thoughts and beliefs that were getting in the way of me practicing interpersonal effectiveness skills were: "If I ask for something or say no, I can't stand if so...