Skip to main content

Make Holiday Gatherings Easier

Many holidays are coming up, and that means holiday gatherings. Holiday gatherings can be nice in that they allow us to see the people we love, but they can also bring crowds, unwanted physical contact, sensory overload, changes in routine, unscripted conversation, and other challenges that are especially irksome for autistic and mentally ill people (like me). This blog will cover some ways to address these issues and lessen their impact.

Note: The dyslexic font add-ons aren't working right now, so this new font is accessible to me. 

  1. Don't pack in too many gatherings: Trying to do too much is a good way to get overwhelmed. Allow down-time to recharge between gatherings. 
  2. Know what to expect: Knowing what will happen and when can help reduce anxiety. It can help to know the schedule, familiarize yourself with the places you'll be going (drive-bys or photos help me), and know who you'll be seeing at the events. 
  3. Prepare scripts: Whether you'll be going for a meal, a gift exchange, or something else, preparing scripts for the expected situation can help make communication easier. If you don't like to be touched, a script about how it's great to see someone, but you don't like physical touch could also be helpful. 
  4. Identify a place to escape: Identify a place to step away as soon as you get to the gathering place, so you can retreat and gather yourself if everything becomes too much. 
  5. Stim- Stim toys can be an unobtrusive way to stim. I'll post links to some of my favorites below. I'm an Amazon affiliate, so I do get rewarded if you click the links. I also choose less obtrusive stimming movements at family gatherings, like conducting, instead of flapping my arms. This all depends on how your family feels about stimming, and how much you care about their thoughts on it. 
  6. Bring something to do: Again, this may depend on your family etiquette, but bringing a book, some toys, a camera, or another way to be distracted from the stimulation can be helpful.
I hope you all have a happy winter, and that these tips help any gatherings you attend be more enjoyable. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I Ordered a Walker

lly have mixe    This is the model. I really have mixed feelings about this decision. I'm choosing to get the walker due to intense pain that's been worsening for about the last year. The cause turns out to be EDS , or at least that's what the doctors are saying. EDS is a connective tissue disorder that I don't yet fully understand, but it was explained to my that my connective tissue at my joints is too stretchy, and it's leading to my pain, fatigue, and susceptibility to joint injury. I was also provisionally diagnosed with POTS , in which blood pools in some areas while I'm seated or laying down, and my heart rate goes up too much trying to get the blood back to my heart and brain when I stand. If this process is inefficient enough, I can faint. Apparently, the doctor didn't do the proper testing for this, so I'm going to take this diagnosis with a grain of salt and just call it unexplained near-fainting episodes for now. Regardless of what causes...

Dear Unnamed Friend

Dear unnamed friend, I carefully hoarded enough spoons to do the activity you suggested at the time you suggested. I went to bed super early and planned NOTHING for tomorrow to be able to do it. I just got discharged from psych this week, and the meds still aren’t all the way in my system, so I’m foggy-minded and emotional. I also woke up every 90 minutes last night for 30-45 minutes due to nightmares about the hospital that joined my normal nightmares. I told you I’d let you know around 9am today, when my alarm was set to sound, whether I could come to the 1pm event today, and I texted you that yes, I could come, but I needed to sleep until 10 to regain spoons. You texted me 4-5 times between 9:15 and 10, effectively cancelling any change I had to sleep, since it takes me at least 2 hours to wake all the way up. You tried to change the plans to pick me up around 10:15am, and I understand why. You were already in the area for something and didn’t want to drive all the w...

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Part 4

All posts in this series reference working through DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition , and all quotes come from that book unless otherwise specified. This blog post continues to chronicle my takeaways from the Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills section of my DBT workbook. Parts of this section either did not work for my autism or my agnosticism, but on the whole, I found it helpful. Dialectics The next section of interpersonal effectiveness skills is dialectics. Dialectics are all about balancing opposites. This has spiritual applications noted in the book (talk of the universe, etc.), but that doesn't work very well for me with trauma and psychosis surrounding spiritual things. However, dialectics can also help us see both sides of a situation, embrace change in our lives, be aware of our connection to others, and see that we are both impacted by and impacters on our environments. The book then lists some beliefs that are dialectics, and a few w...