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What am I like when I am well?

What am I like when I am well?

I laugh a lot, but I don't smile at the same things as other people. Sometimes, I'll smile at the color of a hair band but not at the present you just gave me, even though I'm super excited about the present.

Oh, yeah, you mean psych things. Well, I hear things you can't hear. I mean that literally. My hearing is very sensitive, and my brain doesn't tune things out as much as other people's brains do, so I notice tiny sounds. I have auditory hallucinations, too, though. Usually, it's just knocking or laughter, but once, I was treated to a surround-sound heavy metal concert that wasn't really happening. The lyrics were, "You broke the peanut butter jar!" Haha!

I like logic puzzles, and I work through my homework from college again just for fun, but I can have trouble focusing, too. I also get migraines.

At night time, I have paranoia and am afraid of monsters, but I don't have immersive delusions when I'm well. When I'm well, I don't hear voices or have complex visual hallucinations. I'm not depressed or suicidal, and I don't have generalized anxiety. Even though I still have flashbacks, I consider those being unwell.

I still have nightmares when I'm well, though, and I still see steam or lights that aren't there. I don't see shadows much when I'm well, though. My hallucinations aren't accompanied by fear when I am well. That's the main difference.

I have social anxiety when I'm well, and I'm still autistic. I still get overwhelmed by sensory stimuli and tasks and have meltdowns and shutdowns. I might hit myself in this state, but I don't scratch or cut myself on purpose when I'm well.

So, that's what I'm like when I'm well, pysch maintenance report, and I've added it to my blog for the world to see my "normal." I'll add, too, that I have a rich, fulfilling life, full of wonderful people, art, and discoveries, and I'm very glad to be alive. Medication has made my life better, as has access to services. I am grateful.

Note: I'll probably edit this blog for style and wording later, but I'm going to go ahead and schedule it for publication now.

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