Skip to main content

What am I like when I am well?

What am I like when I am well?

I laugh a lot, but I don't smile at the same things as other people. Sometimes, I'll smile at the color of a hair band but not at the present you just gave me, even though I'm super excited about the present.

Oh, yeah, you mean psych things. Well, I hear things you can't hear. I mean that literally. My hearing is very sensitive, and my brain doesn't tune things out as much as other people's brains do, so I notice tiny sounds. I have auditory hallucinations, too, though. Usually, it's just knocking or laughter, but once, I was treated to a surround-sound heavy metal concert that wasn't really happening. The lyrics were, "You broke the peanut butter jar!" Haha!

I like logic puzzles, and I work through my homework from college again just for fun, but I can have trouble focusing, too. I also get migraines.

At night time, I have paranoia and am afraid of monsters, but I don't have immersive delusions when I'm well. When I'm well, I don't hear voices or have complex visual hallucinations. I'm not depressed or suicidal, and I don't have generalized anxiety. Even though I still have flashbacks, I consider those being unwell.

I still have nightmares when I'm well, though, and I still see steam or lights that aren't there. I don't see shadows much when I'm well, though. My hallucinations aren't accompanied by fear when I am well. That's the main difference.

I have social anxiety when I'm well, and I'm still autistic. I still get overwhelmed by sensory stimuli and tasks and have meltdowns and shutdowns. I might hit myself in this state, but I don't scratch or cut myself on purpose when I'm well.

So, that's what I'm like when I'm well, pysch maintenance report, and I've added it to my blog for the world to see my "normal." I'll add, too, that I have a rich, fulfilling life, full of wonderful people, art, and discoveries, and I'm very glad to be alive. Medication has made my life better, as has access to services. I am grateful.

Note: I'll probably edit this blog for style and wording later, but I'm going to go ahead and schedule it for publication now.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Autism and Teaching English

In many ways, autism makes me a good teacher. I explain things clearly and systematically. I keep detailed notes on each student because I have to do so to remember. I have formulas for everything and provide data-based feedback on student progress after every lesson. It also makes me a good English as a Second Language teacher. I pinpoint specific, recurring issues in students' speaking (accent, pronunciation, and oral fluency) and take a structured approach to addressing these issues. I do the same with academic writing (structure, grammar, vocabulary, spelling, coherence and cohesion). However, it makes me a lousy literature teacher. I'm good at poetry, but stories are not my thing. I take them at face value. It's hard for me to see symbolism behind the words. A story about talking rabbits ( Watership Down ) is, to me, just about the talking rabbits, and I'm totally into the narrative of those rabbits. I also cannot empathize with character emotions unless I...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Jiggle When I Dance: A Poem

TW: Fat (reclaimed), eating disorder recovery mention, obesity mention, body image issues mention  I've been posting a lot of poetry lately because that's the content my brain has been able to produce, but I'm going to try to get some regular content to you soon. In the meantime, there is far to little fat positivity on this blog, as I grapple with my own eating disorder recovery, obesity, and body image issues. In that vein, I bring you my new fat positivity poem, "I Jiggle When I Dance". I Jiggle When I Dance When I dance My stomach wiggles side to side Even after I stop moving   The movement of my breasts Is really obvious And I’m learning Not to try to hide it   My feet on the floor Would make creaks and thumps Except   If I move my lower half My joints scream in pain And I have to stop dancing   So I dance with the top of me Jiggles and all And I’m learning to be free   To love myself more freely To live ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills Part 1

All posts in this series reflect working through  DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition . All quotes come from this book unless otherwise noted.  Deciding to Study Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills: According to the book, the reason for practicing interpersonal effectiveness skills is to "be skillful in getting what you want and need from others", "build relationships and end destructive ones", and "walk the middle path". There are some factors that can get in the way of interpersonal effectiveness: lacking the skills you need, not knowing what you want, being too emotional to be skillful, forgetting long-term goals because of what you want right now, "other people... getting in the way", and having thoughts and beliefs that get in the way. The thoughts and beliefs that were getting in the way of me practicing interpersonal effectiveness skills were: "If I ask for something or say no, I can't stand if so...
Post a Comment
Read more