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Mindfulness Skills and How They Help Me

Like many of you, I'm home all the time right now due to pre-existing health conditions and the stay-at-home order issued by my government due to the spread of COVID-19. I've been doing several things with my time: resting, training and loving on my dog, playing Sims, learning the computer coding language Python, and working my way through DBT® Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets, Second Edition.

I want to share some of my conclusions as I worked through this book. These blog posts won't be comprehensive analyses of the information in each section. They will be the takeaways that meant the most to me.

The first section, which is on behavioral analysis and stopping unwanted behaviors, is personal and potentially triggering, so I'll be starting the blogs with the second section, Mindfulness and Wise Mind. According to the book, the goals of practicing Wise Mind and mindfulness are to "reduce suffering and increase happiness", "increase control of your mind", and "experience reality as it is".

First up in the mindfulness section was Wise Mind, which is balancing or taking into account your rational and emotional minds. The book recommended a number of meditative exercises to "get into Wise Mind", but I did not find that these worked for me. Rather, I found that other skills taught in the mindfulness section helped more.

When I am overwhelmed due to my autism or to strong emotions, I find that practicing the skill "Describe" helps me to calm down and be more able to access the rational part of my mind. thus accessing Wise Mind. In Describe, I describe my thoughts and feelings and label each one as a thought or feeling as it comes. It goes something like this: "I notice that I'm having a thought that Coco (my dog) is not cooperating. I notice that I'm having an urge to run away from the sound of her barking. I notice that I feel angry that the goal of taking her out is being blocked."

I try to incorporate the skill "Non-judgemental" while practicing Describe, so if I notice a judging thought, I say, "A judging thought has entered my mind," and then I replace it with a non-judging thought. So I might notice the thought, "I'm a terrible dog parent. I spent too much time working on my computer and not enough time paying attention to my dog." Then I pause and reframe the thought as, "I notice that I have the desire to spend more time paying attention to my dog."

Finally, when faced with a decision, I find that making a pros and cons list that includes rational and emotional considerations is helpful. So is reaching out to trusted sources for advice, as long as I don't reach out over and over about the same thing after they have already given me their answer. 

These skills are helpful for keeping me out of dark thought spirals. They help me resist the urge to self-harm and to lash out at my dog. They're also a helpful starting ground for making tough decisions, as they help me take a step back from being purely rational or purely emotional about the issue.

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